No matter what your relationship is with frogs (and we’re not asking), they don’t cause warts. Warts are products of the human papilloma virus and, since they’re a virus, they’re very contagious. This is why, unless you get rid of it quickly, one wart usually leads to several more.

There are four categories of warts, though they’re all caused by the same virus: common warts (the raised, rough-looking bumps), flat warts (much smaller, usually on the hand but sometimes on the face and, hey, they’re flat), plantar warts (started life as regular warts but, since they appear on the soles of the feet, they grow INWARD and can get quite big and sore) and genital warts (guess where). If you suspect you have a genital wart, or if you have diabetes, see your doctor – don’t try to treat them yourself.

First of all, make sure it IS a wart and not a callus or a corn. If you’re in doubt, see your doctor. He may prescribe topical medication, freeze it off, or even remove it with a laser or surgery (if it’s a particularly stubborn one). Again, warts are viral, so take steps to keep them from spreading even if you’re being treated – clean the shower after each use, don’t re-use towels, and try not to touch the warts. Wash your hands often.

There are many options for at-home treatment. The most common drugstore cures consist of applying some form of mild acid to dissolve the wart over a period of several weeks. These acids are sold commercially as creams, liquids, or patches which you cut to fit and cover with a bandage. (If you use a liquid form, cover the surrounding area with Vaseline before applying it so it won’t remove normal skin.) You can also use other forms of mild acid, such as castor oil or a paste made of crushed Vitamin C tablets.

You can buy at-home kits to freeze off warts, but you must be moderately competent to use them effectively. If you don’t follow the directions exactly you can kill more skin than you want to – and it is a fairly uncomfortable procedure. It does usually work a little better and a lot more quickly than the acid treatment.

The biggest “buzz” in wart removal these days is duct tape – you probably have some in your toolbox. (It’s like The Force: it has a dark side and a light side, and it holds the universe together.) Cover the wart with a patch of duct tape and keep it on for six days. Then pull off the tape, soak the wart in warm water and gently remove as much of it as you can with an emery board or pumice stone (not so much that it hurts). Re-apply the tape and repeat the process until the wart is gone. Oddly, research has shown that this works better than either cryosurgery or acid treatment, though it can be a little difficult to explain if the duct tape is in a visible spot (cover it with a bandage).

Not as difficult as explaining the frog thing, though.