They say that the computer will never replace the newspaper, because you can’t swat a fly with a computer.

You can learn to swat a fly with a computer, though!

Successfully stalking the plain or garden house fly (Musca domestica, to be precise) is a pastime for sportsmen strong in both mind and body. Good hand-to-eye coordination is necessary, as is a calm emotional detachment even in the heat of the chase. Flies are worthy opponents and, as in any contest, it pays to know your enemy.

One surprising fact about the fly is that he is a beast with VTO (Vertical Takeoff and Landing) capability, not unlike a Harrier jet. Scientists (undoubtedly fellow fly-safari aficionados) discovered last summer that when flies “take off,” they not only fly, they jump; it’s a single reflex action.

What does this mean to the mighty hunter?

Well, one axiom is to “lead the fly,” that is, to swat at an area a little above and in front of where the fly is resting before the “swat” begins. This will compensate for both the leap and the flying. Another ploy is to approach sitting prey with a swatter in each hand – the theory is that by the time he’s figured out which way to jump you’ll have him.

For those who want to take the hunt to the next level, there is Extreme Flyswatting. In EF the human member of the team claps his bare hands above his quarry – if he has done it properly, he will “startle” the fly up and into his cupped hands. As with all Extreme Sports, do not attempt this without a proper warm-up.

And always, always wear your safety equipment.